Saturday, July 19, 2008

Its just one of them days

It all started like a normal day. A quick bath to calm ones nerves after a long day at school. A quick rub down with some lotion, brushing of the hair, and tossin' on of the pj's. Then onto a little low key play time, before a bottle and bed. Off to the back room where Elem appears to be happy with his usual amazement and interest with the vacuum. He looks, he touches, he plays.


Eventually, the vacuum loses its excitement and onto daddy's shoes. Which have become another new obsession. The desire to put on daddy's shoes, has proven to be a lost battle. The baby foot is jut not big enough to hold it on without slipping.


Which can always lead to frustration.


And in that moment, I would like to introduce our newest phase.The fits.


Where faces turn red, cries turn into shreaks, eyes fill with tears, and all reason goes right out the window. All that in only a matter of seconds.


Bodies flail.


Legs are kicked, and objects are attacked (both people and/or anything in the immediate area)


Then something distracts you, and the fit is over. Sometimes only moments later, and sometimes 20 minutes later.


One never knows when the fits are coming. Because the fit thrower has no idea one is coming either! They just HAPPEN. And boy do they suck! Elem has most recently welcomed the stage of what I can only guess, are the early stages of the Terrible Twos!!!! My calm, laid back, hard working, mommas boy, has somehow discovered the idea of fits! And Seth and I were totally not ready.

A few weeks ago, Elem threw himself about on the floor and screamed to the top of his lungs for about 20 minutes. Seth and I looked to each other upset thinking that somethings must be wrong with him and he must be hurting, because of how insane he was acting. After it was over, although we were both upset and worn out just by watching it, we stuck to it and just assumed physical pain. Then it happened again, and again, and again. And we have finally realized that these are just fits! I am almost in shock because I work with kids every day and I see more fits, and upset children than most people would ever care to in their lifetime. But from a 14 month old. Neh-I thought those were easy-just sidetrack em, pick them up, take them away from the situation, right? Well not with my kid! I could only have wished to be so lucky. Elem seriously flails around and screams so loud at the drop of a hat.

Now we are seeing that he is throwing fits if his food isn't ready fast enough, he gets hurt, he wants to go outside and we wont let him, if we have to come inside at all, when he gets frustrated with toys, he wants to eat something he cant have, because he woke up, and just for no reason at all. ANd it wont ever just stop with a scream or two, but there has to be the rolling around on the floor, hitting and kicking things while rolling, and so on and so on. I just do not know what to do. He will not let you pick him up AT ALL either. Which is annoying too, because sometimes he just needs to be calmed down and moved to another room. So I have resorted to the easiest thing which eventually always works, which is the ignoring game. When he starts a fit I initially try to console him and distract him right at first, but if it doesnt work and he is already in the go wild mode, I simply ignore it. And I have to leave the room, or simply stand back. It is really hard to watch though because I see him there so sad and just so hurt by whatever it is that rubbed him the wrong way. And after a while I go back over and say "up", and hold my arms out and if he holds his arms up then he is done and if he tries to hit or something I just walk away. But if he does hold his ars up I pick him up and put him on my chest, tell him its alright, and I love him, and then he stops crying on the spot. And sniffles for a little bit, then wants right back down and off to playing again.

It is a vicious cycle I tell you, and seems never ending when it is happening. Maybe not the best way to do it, but like I said, it does work. What else can I do? I DO NOT want my kid to be spoiled, and I feel like this is the first stage of him testing me. Just to see how far he can get with the whining. But it is not gonna work, and I am going to stick by my policy until he understands that he cants always get his way. And if he would just try to compromise, he would be happier in the long run.

This is definatley not one of the high points of parenting, and trial and error for a solution is no fun either. And I still cant believe it is happening so early. I can only hope and pray that we get through this one as a much stronger family and eventually with a calmer well mannered baby! ALl I can say is...I think he gets it from his daddy. :)

6 comments:

becky said...

cant wait to hopefully see you guys this weekend although i am not looking forward to fit throwing. does elem still have the runs cause i sure don't want my 4 month old getting the runs from your 14 month old hehe

Scott said...

whoa. Sounds like you are doing the best you can with the situation. Although it doesn't sound fun at all, it sounds like your new approach is a good one and I am sure this is just a phase that he will soon grow out of. I can't wait! haha!

Scott said...

And oh yeah, I agree, he totally gets this from Seth....ha!

Anonymous said...

Yep! We're having a few of those, too. Sounds like you are handling it perfectly.

Ashley Frain said...

Hey Mindy! I just wanted to let you know that Elem's fits sound JUST LIKE Eli's when he was Elem's age. I think you are handling it wonderfully. Keep it up!

The good news is that Eli is now 2 and he rarely ever pitches a fit...maybe Elem's just getting it all out of his system now =)

By the way, has Elem had a fit in public yet? Now that's fun!!!

Ashley Frain said...

Hey Mindy! I just wanted to let you know that Elem's fits sound JUST LIKE Eli's when he was Elem's age. I think you are handling it wonderfully. Keep it up!

The good news is that Eli is now 2 and he rarely ever pitches a fit...maybe Elem's just getting it all out of his system now =)

By the way, has Elem had a fit in public yet? Now that's fun!!!

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