Moments of peace

Sometimes I just feel like sometimes everything is so overwhelming-with work, my family, cleaning, my head in general :)-and then when I think it is all too much, I have what I can only describe as a moment of peace. Today I took my school age summer program kids to the back to school picnic thrown by one of our city funders. It was 102 degrees and good ole Arkansas humidity was so thick it felt like you were just sitting in dirt after about 5 minutes. Luckily, I got to stay for 4 hours. With a zillion kids running around, oh and I also brought my child as well. With trying to keep him hydrated and myself and 30 other children, by the time I got back to work, all I wanted to do was go home and take a shower. No such luck, I ended up staying till 6pm and having plenty to do, which is always nice when your shirt is still wet with sweat like 2 hours later. Yuck! haha.

Then I come home fix Elem's dinner, give him a bath, and try to straighten up the house because Seth has been out of town and I am going to the airport to pick him up later. Elem, has been testing me, as I have put in previous posts, and is still on somewhat of a hitting kick, and was just plain ole tired but didnt want to go to bed. It was one of those nights. And I just kept hearing myself saying "No" to him and "Dont" and "stop it", and every time I would hear myself I just felt bad because it seems like I was getting frustrated and I just needed to take a step back for a minute.

After his bath, I got him ready for bed, went and got his blankey, and a bottle, and carried him off to his room like I always do. He is so sweet at that time, except he always seems to sneak in a hit in the face or head right when he sees I am carrying him into his room. Its annoying but funny at the same time. All I could do was laugh and tell him "no hit". But something came over me and I just loved on him, and scratched his back and rocked him for a second, which he never really lets me do anymore. He usually just wants to jump into the bed and do his thing and fall right asleep. But he hugged me so tight, and then looked up and kissed me. Right on the lips. Ahh, sweet moments of peace. But it gets better.

After I held him for a minute I just started singing to him, something random I made up as I sang-(every time I want to sing to him, its like I cant think of what song would be perfect for right then), so like I said I just made something up as I sang it to him, and he continued to listen and cuddle, and then look up and give me a kiss on the lips. After each kiss he would lay his head right back on my shoulder. Moments of peace, just so perfectly timed I cant even explain it. But it still gets better.

I laid him on the floor in his room and I turned off the light, and switched on the night light to et it ready for bed time. Then I laid on the floor next to Elem and just rubbed his back and continued to sing to him for like 20 minutes. It was the best time of the whole week. Actually my whole month! He just laid there and listened to me sing and cuddled with his blankey and drank his bottle till it was gone. While I was laying there in the floor I was at first shocked that he was laying there still and silent and actually not being a wild 14 month old! But even more I was thinking what a perfect peaceful moment. Better than anything I could have asked for. Everything was calm in the house, there was no noise but me singing to him and him sipping his bottle. After he finished his bottle, he rolled over and climbed up to give me a hug and lay his head in my neck. Which is by far my favorite place to get hugs from Elem Zane these days. It was like he knew I needed a second. And some lovin.

It really made me thankful and grateful to be a mommy all over again! Although it is stressful and more than anyone could imagine, sweet moments of peace like I had tonight are the kind of thing that keep you running around like crazy for another few months! So for now, thank you for moments of peace. They are much appreciated and much needed. The best part was, Elem was hardly even doing anything to make the moment so great. Just him laying there and being him, gave me some kind of overwhelming peace about myself. What a precious baby boy.

This is all I could come up with while I sang...
"Go to sleep baby boy, go to sleep baby boy, get your blankey, and go off to sleep"
"Go to sleep, baby boy, go to sleep baby boy, it is now time to go off to sleep"

hahaha. Not to hard to think up those lyrics, but they seemed to work. i'll gladly take my moment of peace and sleep better knowing there are only more to come. :)