With the new year, I made up my mind that I would make certain that our family made a better attempt to get back into the routine of going to church. Not just going through the motions of the whole thing, but really being closer to God, and understanding everything is not just up to us. I grew up going to church, Seth grew up going to church, and honestly I want Elem to grow up going to church and with the blessing of having that good group of morally sound people to interact with. I never want to force my child into any kind of religion, just as I don't feel it fair to be pushed myself, but I do feel I have the obligation as a mother to show him what is out there, and make sure he is aware of a spiritual relationship with God. And he can take it to whatever level he so determines. I had been having these huge feelings over the last few months, but just never made a move on it, until the first of the year. Elem and I woke up Sunday morning, I think Seth was out of town for a few days, got dressed, ate breakfast, and headed off to church. As an educator I am a HUGE "packer" for events-be them big deals or not, I really believe you can never have too much stuff or be to prepared for an afternoon with your kiddo! I was fully prepared for the hour long service, and knew there was a possibility of some crying or talking above the typical whisper. But that was okay with me. We made our way into the parking lot, and I told Elem all about church, because he has only been a few times-we talked about Jesus, and how we are going to sing and pray to the same Jesus we pray to at school and at night before bed. We even talked about the fact that Christmas was all about Jesus' birthday (mistake Number 1) and there were going to be a lot of people there, all thinking about Jesus. (Mistake Number 2) a whole lot of people means this is a BIG deal-didn't need to pump it up that much!. Exiting the car with a little hesitation, Elem was still pretty pumped up, and with his book bag full of goodies, we headed up the stairs, and it was then I began to get a little nervous when the multitude of questions began to fly out of his mouth.
"Is Jesus gonna be here momma?"
"We are going to Jesus Birt-day pawty?"
"It's my birt-day pawty too?"
"Where is Jesus gonna sit?"
"We gonna have cake?"
"I don't wanna sing momma, I wanna eat birt-day cake."
And the list goes on. Still, with questions and all, the attitude was still good. We walked into the front door, and Elem gave the man holding the door open for us a high five. Hmm. Still seems okay. My plan once we got in, just head to the back so we could find a seat away from everybody else, so he could feel free to move around a little bit and not be too bored and confused. We walk in-and were RIGHT on time (mistake Number 3)walking in to a HUGE church with the band playing up front and a couple hundred people singing pretty loudly seems to be a bit overwhelming for a 2 year old! And then it began...the crying. And I don't just mean crying but wailing. But it gets better.
I knew this might happen, I mean he had never been there that he would remember, and yes it was a little overwhelming-even for me. But I maintained my composure and we headed for a seat in the back, ind of off so we wouldn't disturb to many people. I quickly sat down, got the book bag open and began pulling out a few things. The band was awesome and I knew if Elem would just take a minute to see the guy in the front with the guitar, and the one playing the drums, he might calm down just enough to actually enjoy the music. While grabbing his sticker book and his cup, I point out the somewhat hippy looking 20 something year old guy playing the guitar and leading the songs (Mistake Number 4). It was from that point Elem kept crying, and it only got louder. He immediately started asking me if that was Jesus. Well I wasn't going to lie, so I told him know, but that he was singing to Jesus, etc. And thus began the outbursts...
"I want Jesus!, I want Jesus, I wanna see Jesus. Mommy where is jesus. I want Jesus." All this coming out of his mouth while still screaming and tears pouring down his face. My face was flushed, I was getting hot all over, and all I could think of was I just wanted to come to church-start off the year right, but I couldn't be this distracting to so many other people there with the same exact feelings and desires. So I just started to laugh. It sounded as if I had just entered the church and had been brain washing Elem daily-filling him with craziness until he screamed I want Jesus. Oh I was so embarrassed. We got up, I shoved all the stuff I had pulled out quickly back into the book bag, and tried not to look directly into the eyes of anyone I had to pass. Elem never stopped. Not for one second, he just kept repeating it over and over and over, until I started laughing out loud, and just walked as fast as I could to the car. Ahhh...he stopped. of course. What can ya do? He just didn't get it, and I wanted so badly for him to -but that is a big thing to throw on a little person. So, we have gone back every Sunday since, and last week he even made it to Sunday School Class, although he told me he is not going back, because he cried and just wanted me to come and pick him up. haha. Aww. We are going to stick with it, and I am really excited about that. Elem deserves the chance to grow up around such an amazing environment and I am sure there will be many more days of way more embarrassing things.
1 comment:
Oh Mindy..... that is too funny. I almost had an accident I was laughing so hard!
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