Wow what a week!

Well where has the time gone. Have no fear I have not disappeared from the blogging world. Just been crazy busy and didnt realize how much time I actually had to blog while I was at home!

Man this time last week I was so nervous and worried about going back to work. And let me tell you, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Not only did I miss my kid more than I could ever explain in words, but the job was way more crazy than I had expected.

I got up and was on my way bright and early Monday morning when I had to leave the little man with Grammy and Papa for the first day, and then my mom was heading in on Monday night to take care of him for the rest of the week. So I drop him off and go into what I thought to be just another day at the office. So I get there and find out that the kids I was going to be in charge of are actually already on their way to a field trip and I will be spending most of the day there by myself, labeling things and getting the rooms how I would like them before they come back tomorrow. So first day not so bad. Except for the missing Elem part. I mean all I did all day was think about him and just wish I could be home with him to hold him and rock him to sleep and go through the regular routine like I always do. But we gots to make a living right??

So day one, not too bad and I finally got to see my little man around 5:30pm/ So the next day I go in, and it was aweful! I mean I have never in my life had such a great challenge in front of me. Its not that the kids ar "bad" but more that they just have no discipline or respect for others-adults or children, what so ever! have you ever had to try and entertain and control 30 kids ages 6-15??!! thats right...6-12 I can totally do, but 12-15 is not my age range and I have no experience with that age group what so ever. So as the week went on, I found myself at work with tears streaming down my face in the middle of the day where I had to walk out and leave the room.

What a nightmare? Kids yelling at you, bigger than you are, fighting with each other, cussing, calling each other names, starting fights, and not thinking anything of any of it. Just another regular day. They walk through a room and just destroy things just to do it. Not thinking that it matters at all. Now the reason I took this job, of course for the opportunity to take Elem with me and also to help kids who REALLY need some stability in their life and who are actually getting a second chance. But the kids I was dealing with were not even thankful to be there. They were just angry. And I was just another adult telling them what to do and they did not want to listen to me. And all I could think of was how I could be at home with my baby and loving on him and holding him and kissing him, but instead I was at this homeless shelter where I was letting kids yell at me and run all over me. Not at all what I had thought I was going to be doing.

And I didnt even get to work with the daycare at all, because we are so understaffed. They really need me with the big kids until school starts, so I am going to have to work with them, which is not even what I was thinking I was hired to do. Man it was crazy....

So anyways, I did stop by the daycare to see if maybe it was okay for Elem. I knew it would not be perfect but thinking that he might be okay to come in like a week or two. well I was wrong. First of all I walk into the nursery and see two girls who are working with 2 infants and they are on the freaking computer playing games. Yes you read correctly. 2 teachers and 2 babies and neither of them was paying any attention to the babies. One was in a swing and 1 was in her crib laying down with a bottle, which is a no no and she was soaking wet with milk and they didnt even care. At that moment I was like, no way in hell I would ever put my kid in this daycare. Not now anyways.

Which leads me to my dilema. What am I going to do with Elem. The whole point f this job was to help other kids get the kind of education and preschool experience and love that every kid deserves and right now it is no where near anything I would ever ask someone to bring their kid too. Actually I would tell people not to bring their kids there right now. Just until I get everything up to standards and where it needs to be. I could go on and on but I wont. Lets just say it was an aweful first week and there is so much that needs to be done. I will be so glad when the school kids go back to school and I can start putting some time into the daycare fr all those little ones. I know I am here for a reason and I know I can make a difference. I just need to get going.

With all that said, and although I am so happy to be there at the homeless shelter helping all those kids, all I could seem to think about all day every day, was my own. My baby. Who was at home with my mom, it super good hands and getting star reatment I am sure, but no with me. :) I wanted to be with elem and I would give anything if I could stay home with him until he was like 6 months old. I just feel like at that age he will be more aware of his surroundings and maybe able to comfort himself better. All I could think about while I was gone was how he might be at home and thinking why did mommy leave me, and why is she not here to rick me to sleep like she usually is. Hopefully this week will be easier and I will be able to just trust that I cant be there and he is in good hands.

Here are a few photos I took of the little guy a while back. Thes first ones with the girraff are the two month pics that everyone has been waiting for.

As you can see the little man has passed the giraf already! Thats right he is huge! Elem curently weighs 14 pounds and is wearing 0-3 month clothes! And they are all fitting him pretty snug!




And here you can see he is totally aware of the camera sometimes. haha And he has just recently become aware of his fists. We will turn around and he will just be sucking away on those things. Its so cute cause



And hee you can see littel Mr. Elem chillin in his big boy aquarium toy that he loves. I think I have written about it before, but he just loves to sit and watch the bubbles that it makes. Its like he gets in this zone and just is in little bibble heaven. Ha!



As you can see Elem is getting big and just keeps growing every day! I miss him so much and so does seth! We wish more than anything we could just be home with him every day, but I know it will all be worth it to give him everything we want for him and to make sure he has everything he needs. Its hard to go to work but so awesome to come home to a smiling baby! Right now Elem and Seth are playing in the rocking chair and it is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I love my family!